We have been in the hospital since Wednesday. Bella is not doing well with the chemo. She is not holding anything down. She will vomit and vomit until there is nothing left. Then comes the dry heaves. This is the worst part so far. Just watching her vomit makes me want to vomit. We keep on hoping for something to change but it only changes for the worse. Nothing seems to be getting better.
Everyone says that Jen and I are strong but I will tell you that we are weak. We are physically and mentally drained. We don't hardly get any sleep. We left the hospital today just to sleep. I never knew that I could think of someone else more than myself. Right now, I have no needs or wants. Well, I guess I want Bella to get better. After that, I desire nothing. I cry just looking at her. We cried and cried and cried today. We don't understand why we are given something only to have it taken away? Why? I can't even tell Jen that everything will be ok. Because I don't know. I hate all of this!!!! We love her so much!!
Love everyone
Jen, Jw, and "twinkle toes" Bella
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