Sittin' on the dock of the bay

Bella is doing good. No chemo this week until Thursday, maybe. Her white blood cell counts are way low. Her head has shrunk and she is gaining weight. Both good things.

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and come on baby light my fire Bella

Always have to steal my kisses from you!

Such Great Heights
by the postal service
covered by iron and wine...(i like the first verse alot)



I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
in our eyes are mirror images and when
we kiss they're perfectly aligned
and I have to speculate that God himself
did make us into corresponding shapes like
puzzle pieces from the clay
and true, it may seem like a stretch, but
its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
head when you're away when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road for
several weeks of shows and when you scan
the radio, I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights, "come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now," but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this all on your
machine but the persistent beat it sounded
thin upon listening and
that frankly will not fly. you will hear
the shrillest highs and lowest lows with
the windows down when this is guiding you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights, "come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now," but we'll stay...


Love ya
the well rested Jen, Jw, and Rory Isabella Shoemaker

Tiny Dancer

Who looks like they just did something wrong in this picture?

She is doing well. We are glad to be home! Thank you to everyone who cares enough just to ask how she is doing. Thank you.

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and voluptuous Baby Bella

Home

We are finally home!!! Bella is in her bouncie seat as we speak. She is in heaven. Heaven to her is a big ole bouncie seat with tons of formula. Remember, heaven is different to everyone. To me, heaven is one big wave that you can continuously ride! Its great to be home. No more of McDonald's food, no more nurses or doctors, no more waiting. I like home!!

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and Booger Bum Bella

Doubting Thomas

Dear God, forgive me that it took a MRI picture to strengthen my faith. I was a doubting Thomas. Look at verse 29!

Bella is still in the hospital but she is now holding down fluids. She is so cute!

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and Beverly Hills Bella


John 20:19-31
19On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 20After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

21Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." 22And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit. 23If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."

Jesus Appears to Thomas

24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

28Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

29Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

30Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31But these are written that you may[a] believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Kosair's Hospital just plain stinks

We are currently at kosair's. Bella has a virus or the flu or something like that. We sat in the ER way to long today. The ER is the worst thing ever invented. You go from a big room to a really tiny room. You sit forever in there!

Anyways, We want to get out tomorrow hopefully.

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and flu bug Bella

Fun with Sweet Potatoes?

What a mess! She is doing well since surgery. She seems to stay awake more. I'm not sure if that is good for us or not? Foxy Shazam!

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and Daddy's little hippie hippie shake Bella

Yes!

Surgery went smooth like butter. It was a big ole Napolean Dynamite "Yes!" Drained the cyst and put a little heart shape bandage on it. That's sweet!!!

Nothing but good news!

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and Daddy's little hippie Rory

That's what I said, Bunny!

Bunny is the bestest in the whole wide world.

Bella goes for surgery tomorrow at 11am

Thanks for all of the cards.

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and Bunny lover Bella

Play Time

Bella and I played for about two hours Monday morning. Jen was getting some well deserved shut eye. She bounced and played on her mat. She seemed to be in better spirits yesterday. She was awake more, I think. That's all I've got for ya today.

Love ya,
Jen, Jw, and the little hippie Rory

Late Night or Morning

Its 3am and Bella is fast asleep after eating almost an entire bottle. She seems a little bit more fussy lately. I am not really sure why. One minute she's fine and the next she is cranky. Maybe thats just babies. Maybe she's just female! What do I know!

I sit here in front of my computer looking at old pictures of Bella. I look at the pictures and I want my baby back. I want the baby that can look me in the eyes and laugh. The chubby baby with fat legs and big cheeks. I know this sounds bad considering that I still have my baby. But there is always the what ifs! What would she look like if she never got sick? How big would she be? What would she be doing? Would she still look me in the eyes and laugh? Everyone says that it will be alright. How do they know? Do they go to the doctors with me? Do they live in my house? Don't tell me that everything will be OK. I don't believe you. I know that I am supposed to have faith that everything will be alright. But that is the hardest thing for me. Its easier to focus on the 90% bad than the 10% good, right? Its like watching the news. Twenty five minutes of bad with five minutes of good. I see that she has already touched more lives than I ever will. A lot of anonymous comments out there. I wish I knew who some of you are!

We have become the best at smiling on the outside and falling apart on the inside. I see it in Jen's eyes and I'm sure everyone sees it in mine. My head hurts from thinking about this to much. Maybe, I can sleep now!

Bella's surgery got moved to Thursday. Everyone is coming up for support. That is awesome.
Thursday at 11am at Kosair's Hospital.

Such Great Heights

Where are you going?
by Dave Matthews Band


Where are you going?
With your long face pulling down?
Don't hide away like an ocean,
But you can't see but you can
Smell and the sound of the waves crash down.

I am no Superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure,
But I do know one thing;
It's where you are is where I belong.
I do know where you go is where I want to be.

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Are you looking for answers
To questions under the stars
If along the way,
You are growing weary,
You can rest with me until a brighter day
You're okay.

I am no Superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure,
But I do know one thing;
It's where you are is where I belong.
I do know where you go is where I want to be.

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Where do you go?
Where are you going?

Where do you go?

I am no Superman
I have no answers for you
I am no hero, oh that's for sure,
But I do know one thing;
It's where you are is where I belong.
I do know where you go is where I want to be.

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

And where are you going?

Well, let's go.

I Can't Take the Pain

The last time that I wrote about how I felt, some people wanted me to go talk to someone. I have no desire to talk to anyone except this computer and Jennifer. So, I am going to write on how bad of a week I have had. Its your choice to read on or not. I will tell you that Bella is doing well. She has us wrapped around every finger. Go figure.

We went to chemo on Tuesday. Jen asked the doctor a question. . I have went since Tuesday and all I can hear is that doctor saying his answer. I didn't know that a heart could break so many times. I hear it at work. I haven't really even talked to anyone at work this week. They all just leave me alone. Thanks. Its better than the ones you think you can talk and you can't. People ask we are doing? Just let us tell you fine. Its easier that away. Some people as soon as you say the truth, its an immediate exit. No one knows what to say. Maybe, I don't want to hear anything. I just want someone else to listen.

Bella is supposed to have another surgery on Monday. They will drain fluid from her cyst and around her head. Jen and I are starting to discuss when enough is enough. Not a topic for the dinner table. Welcome to our world. This is tearing us apart on the inside. I can see it in her eyes and she can see it in mine. We will make it through all of this.

Love ya
Jen, Jw, and the little hippie Rory

Supposed to Be

This is what her life is supposed to be like. No worries, no cares. But God said this is how its supposed to be, so it is.

Facts of Life

You take the good, You take the bad. You take them all and there you have the facts of life.

So, we get the great news that Bella tumor has shrunk. The doctor sounded very surprised at that. We now find out that there is a cyst on the tumor. The tumor is, sort of, feeding the cyst. It is giving fluid to the cyst. So one gets smaller and the other gets bigger. In turn, if you take care of the tumor, you take care of the cyst. On Monday the 13th, Bella will have the cyst drained and some of the fluid drained off of her head. The doctor talks like it is a very minor surgery. We ask for prayer for Bella starting on Sunday and all through Monday.

To David Price's church. I don't know the church's name and I have never met any of the members. I only know David and Family. Thank you for the cards with the Bible verses. It is spiritually and emotionally uplifting to receive these. Just to know that people who have never met Bella or us, care enough to take time out of their daily lifes....It means alot. It brightens the day to receive the mail and go "I don't know who thats from?". That's great. Thank you, I hope to meet everyone of you someday!

Thank you
Jen, Jw, and daddy's little hippie Bella

www.worldfamousbabybella.com is now working again. Thanxs John

Lighthouse

Lighthouse by Audio Adrenaline

Bouncing like a buoy
Drifting on the water
Singletary solitude man begins to holler
He says, "Man overboard"
I jump ship on the trip
It was a worldwide cruise
Trading riches for some fishes
I've got nothing more to lose
I'm a man overboard
I'm a man overboard

If it wasn't for the lighthouse
Where would my life be
On a ship bound for no where
On an unforgiving sea
I thank God
For the light

Legs and arms are burning
Swim against the tide
Keep an eye above the water
So I can see the light
I'm a man overboard
I dream about the Savior
I dream about the shore
I feel the sand
You take my hand
And we will walk forevermore
I'm a man overboard
I'm a man overboard

If it wasn't for the lighthouse
Where would my life be
On a ship bound for nowhere
On an unforgiving sea
I thank God for the lighthouse
I thank God for the light

If it wasn't for the lighthouse
Where would my life be
On a ship bound for nowhere
On an unforgiving sea
I thank God
If it wasn't for the lighthouse
Where would my life be
On a ship bound for nowhere on an unforgiving sea
I thank God for the lighthouse
I thank God for the light

You are my joy

Tuesday morning, Jen noticed that Bella's eyes were dialating and retracting. So she called the neurologist and they, of course, said to take her to Kosair's Children Hospital. So Jen takes her down there about 11 am. Jen calls about every two hours to give me an update. They did a CT Scan, MRI, and x-rays while there. These probably take about 30 minutes total to do. She was told the wrong information twice by people other than doctors. You know lab techs and such. So they got our worries up for nothing. Jen sat in ER. Not the big ER room but the little room that they move you to. You know the room with a bed, sink, and two chairs. She called me at 8:30pm to tell me that they were going to be admitted. So I ventured down to Kosair's. We all sat in the little ER room until about 1:30am. We finally got a room. They did another CT Scan in the morning. Then we went home.


We did get some good news. The tumor has SHRUNK!!! I don't have any dimensions but they could tell with their eyes that the it had SHRUNK!!! God moves in strange ways. Ways in which I will never understand.

Cya later
Jen, Jw, and Booger Bella