My Beautiful Angel

On March 27th Bella lost her fight with cancer. She fought the most amazing battle and laughed in the face of fear till the very end. And though her road was tough, she met each challenge of her life with tenacity and such great spirit.

The last four months of Bella's life were very difficult. She lost the ability to talk, walk, even move her arms and legs. She needed a feeding tube and sometimes relied on oxygen. The last two weeks of her life were even tougher. The tumor caused her great pain and pressed on nerves that made her left shoulder twitch and move. But in true Bella fashion she laughed one more time just four days before she passed away.




The last two days of her life were the worst. On Friday night, March 25th, Bella's lungs began to fill with fluid. She developed what many call the death rattle. Fortunately for her, we were able to give her medicine to ease her pain and help her stay comfortable through all this.

And just a little before 3 p.m. on March 27th, Bella took her last breath. She died laying on my chest as I rocked her in her favorite chair - the recliner. I find it a little poignant that she began her life inside my belly, and she ended her life laying on top of it. Not many parents can say this, but I witnessed her first breath and I witnessed her last. And despite all the pain, I can see beauty in that fact.



So this is it. My last post on this blog. I always hoped that this would end differently, but I was also very aware of the reality of her diagnosis. And inspite of the outcome, I can truly say that Bella was a miracle. She defied so many odds and did so many wonderful things with her life. I don't think I will ever match her courage and determination or her great accomplishments.

If there is one thing I have learned from Bella and all she has done it is that in order to gain anything in this world, you must challenge yourself. I challenged and pushed Bella, and she did great things, even impossible things. So now I throw this out to you. I am going to start a new life where I challenge myself, and I challenge you, too. See what new things you can do and accomplish with your life. Bella showed that the impossible is, indeed, possible.

Thank you so much for following us during our journey. There was much laughter and some tears, and I am happy to have shared those with you.

You can continue to follow my story at www.pocketofposies.posterous.com.

Best wishes to you all,

Jennifer